lessons from the winter solstice
tonight's reflection: so many beautiful lessons this season. be here, be well.
The winter solstice arrived on the 21st on December. We are also approaching the end of the Gregorian calendar which falls on the 31st. In honoring these shifts, I’ve decided to share an entry I wrote in my journal as I reflected on lessons I’ve learned in this past summer and fall season.
written Dec 23, 2024, nighttime.
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This year unlocked my voice. There was a time in middle and high school where I used to speak so freely and unfiltered. I have been on a journey as of lately, to reclaim my voice and find that carefree agency again. Non coincidentally this was a major theme during my summer therapy sessions when I showed up with a literal sore throat and communication burdens. My therapist had asked me “what needs to come out?” “what are you holding in that you need to say?.” And from those simple questions flew out all my inner thoughts and emotions which had been draining my energy and quite literally making me sick.
I’ve had many instances this season where I had to choose to use my voice in order to defend my beliefs, share my honest opinions, educate myself and others, set clear boundaries, and express a wide array of my emotions from moments of love and bliss to moments of anger and frustration. The more I speak up and speak out, the freer I feel. My power is in my voice and this season continued to force me to use my voice in clear and direct ways and to use it regardless of who I was talking to and how they would receive it.
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I have continued to learn the power of inner peace. There are many things that I cannot control, but my mindset towards and my commitment to peace is one of them. I’ve learned to not let my external environments, including the people in them, disturb me into a place of imbalance. I believe there’s so much power in being unwavering in the midst of chaos, disturbance, and negativity. It's a golden skill. Now this is not to say that I don’t experience difficulties or stress because of course I do. I don’t police my feelings or shut myself off from feeling sad or angry in those moments either. But on a daily basis when I start my mornings, I choose to let things go, to not become overburdened, and to try my best at staying present. Being at peace gives me the gift of being present and that is the greatest gift of them all ~more on this in a little bit.
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The lesson that was the clearest to me this season was the lesson of patience, trust, and faith. Candidly, there was a moment this summer where I became doubtful. I didn’t believe that things were going to work out. I stopped trusting spirit, and I couldn’t hear my ancestors clearly. And I had very. little. patience. In those moments, often feeling the anxiety of impatience and faithlessness, I prayed. I prayed, not for good things to happen to me, but to be taught how to be more patient. And what I’ve learned about prayer and spirit, is that often times the things we pray for to receive are actually accessible to us in that very moment. So I started praying for patience while also recognizing that I was being given the opportunity to rebuild my faith and trust in spirit again. The gift and the lesson were already there.
I’ve now become a lot more patient. I’ve been focusing on planting seeds and trusting the tree would grow on its own time when its ready. I let go of my human ego for control and left it up to spirit to make it happen. This lesson in patience is probably my favorite of this past season. And of course, once I embraced the lesson, doors began to open for me again. Things will and are always moving, trust in that.
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The lesson of patience and faith flows into my learned lesson of surrender. In practicing patience, I had to let go of the plans and future illusions I had created in my head. Most of them had been based in my anxiety and desire to control my outcomes. When I learned to surrender, I took the pressure off of myself to have it all figured out because plot twist…none of us will ever have it all figured out. I’ve learned to be comfortable with not having all the pieces but still choosing to move forward and use what's been given to me, step by step, as it’s being revealed. Surrendering is similar to that of peace, they both ground me in the present moment and that is where the magic happens.
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As I continue to write this reflection, I realize that this season was actually all about being present. All these lessons I’ve been experiencing have allowed me to be more present in my life. To really learn how to live in the Now and be grounded here. And this is a lesson, being present, that I think I’ll constantly be learning in circles throughout my life. I have a feeling that spirit keeps inviting me to learn this lesson because of how happy and authentic and useful I am. I’m my best self for me personally and for the collective when I’m present. And I feel and know that this applies to all of us.
There’s power in using our voices, maintaining peace, practicing patience, and surrendering to spirit because all of these things ground us in the present moment. And it's in this moment where dreams are born, purpose is discovered, and love is cultivated. This is where liberation movements are birthed. This is where people heal. This is where community is built. In the present, right now, in this moment.
And so now I’m feeling very grateful. Thank god, I had the joy of learning these lessons this past season. Thank god, the older I get, the more I experience longer periods of existing in the present moment. Because now I am able to cultivate community and deeply intimate relationships, and I get to dream big about my purpose and take actionable steps towards making it come true. That’s what life is about to me.
Much gratitude for this journey.
Be here and be well loves. Peace.
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I have several updates and life happenings that I can’t wait to share with you all in the upcoming months as things continue to pick up and flow in my birthkeeping journey. I will be heavily leaning into my calling in this realm and sharing more womb and healing practices moving forward.